This is not new knowledge. Dale Carnegie wrote about, and published it, in 1936 in his book How to win friends and influence people. More recently, Les Giblin published Skill with People.
If you want to get along with people, make friends, and especially to buy from you, then stop talking about yourself. Stop using ‘me’, and ‘I’ when talking to others.
Yesterday, my friend and I went to Grantham Business Club, a good event and then we went to a cafe after. Another regular joined us, and brought her school friend who had been in business for a year.
From the moment the new friend sat down, the conversation was about her. We knew what she was doing for the next week or so, where her kids were, how her divorce was going, where she was living, how much her rent was, how much she had earned and how she was spending as much as she could. Her only real question was about how her earnings would reflect on her divorce!
It was not the most enjoyable coffee! We all left together and headed to the car park, 250 meters away. As I opened the door, she started again. In the short distance she said ‘I’ 37 times. Honestly. We didn’t even ask her anything.
I’ve just looked at her LinkedIn posts. They are all about her too.
Is this bad? I think so, however, she is building a very profitable business and has many followers.
My recommendation to new networkers remains the same. Read the two books mentioned above and stop talking about yourself. If you hear yourself say ‘I’ or ‘me’, stop and think about who you are talking to.